Michela Desdefano is terrified to stop playing volleyball. 

 

“I feel like (volleyball is) what I am,” Desdefano said. 

 

Volleyball became an all-consuming entity in Desdefano’s life once she entered college. She quickly realized that she would have to rely on her tride and skill. The mental health resources she needed were not available to her in Oklahoma. 

 

Like some collegiate athletes, mental health struggles entered Desdefano’s life with college recruitment. 

She said she has not meshed with every teammate she played with, coaches took her for granted and an angry athletic director turned his back on her after she entered the transfer portal. 

 

“Nowadays, you know, there's so many different factors for these poor student-athletes,” said Lexis Vizarelis, Director of Goalkeeping and Technical Director for Oklahoma Energy Football Club. “And what they're going through is a changing environment.”

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 Hannah Grundy (left) and  Michela Desdefano are                                           Jaycee Hampton.  

volleyball teammates at Oklahoma City University. 

 

Three years ago, Desdefano moved from Italy to the U.S. to play collegiate volleyball. She spoke no English and knew no one in the U.S. 

 

All she had was volleyball. 

 

Desdefano started playing volleyball when she was 8. With the support of her parents, she flourished as a player in an athletic environment different from what her American teammates experienced. 

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 Desdefano (Number 17)  is from Italy and             Courtesy of Hannah Grundy

came to the U.S. to pursue a volleyball career.

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In Italy, volleyball is a club sport and is not played in schools. She said teachers disapproved of Desdefano’s commitment to sports, and her life felt divided. But she kept playing. 

 

At Oklahoma City University, Desdefano and the sport she played blurred into one entity as volleyball consumed her sense of self. 

 

“I'm learning that I'm so much more, but you have to think, I played the same sport since I was 8,” Desdefano said. 

 

Desdefano overcame the stigma some Oklahoma collegiate athletes face when confronting their mental health struggles, and she sought out the resources necessary to revive her mental strength. 

 

But it's 5,500 miles away.

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“I'm learning that I'm so much more, but you have to think, I                                 played the same sport since I was 8.”

                               -Michela Desdefano.

 

Desdefano has a therapist who lives in Italy. She said speaking her native language, Italian, helps her express herself adequately, which is not possible with therapists in Oklahoma. 

 

Desdefano is not alone.

 

Multiple other international athletes on the team are internally prohibited from utilizing Oklahoma mental health resources because of the language barrier. As their teammates consider University Counseling Services, international athletes are left out. 

 

But Desdefano’s American teammates face struggles regarding mental health resources, too. 

 

Hannah Grundy, Desdefano’s teammate, said she has been coached through a “handle your own battles” mindset. 

 

“I think it's good to take ownership of your life,” Grundy said. “But there are also times when other people need to step in and help you.”

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Grundy (left) said Desdefano was coached                          Jaycee Hampton.

to take ownership of her own life.       

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Guerin Emig, a sports writer at the Sellout Crowd who worked at the Tulsa World for 20 years covering high school and college sports, watched this stigma develop. 

 

Emig said he observed fans forget college athletes have more responsibilities on their plate than the average college student. Emig said athletes know the money made on their backs, and that pressure can be challenging and potentially dangerous.

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“I think it's good to take ownership of your life.But there are also            times when other people need to step in and help you.”

                                       -Hannah Grundy.

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"Their mental health is not well looked after,” Emig said. “If you are not looking after the well-being of your players, then you are doing them a disservice.”

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Emig watched the sports world evolve in front of his eyes, from an industry that did not acknowledge the importance of mental health to one beginning to encourage athletes to find the help they need. 

 

As social media usage became more prevalent, the stigma around utilizing mental health resources in sports took a step backward.

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“College athletes have always been under a microscope, but it wasn’t so public until social media,” Emig said. “Now it has become an open forum where fans feel emboldened to make judgments about them.”

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It was globally reported that the pandemic impacted people’s mental health, and college students were no exception.  Between 2020 and 2021, about 60% of students faced one or more mental health conditions, a 50% increase from 2013, according to the Healthy Minds Study. 

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Social media has played a part in the increase       Courtesy of Hannah Grundy

of athlete's mental health struggles.

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Emig said he observed that change after the pandemic and said coaches had reevaluated their role in the athlete’s lives and how they go on about addressing mental health issues.  

 

Emig said the pandemic gave everyone an excuse to ask coaches and players about the importance of mental health when you have a grave crisis. Since then, the journalist has heard more players address the topic. 

 

“Physically they might be unbreakable,” Emig said. “But mentally, that is not the case.” 

 

Jimmy Hampton, head soccer coach at the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma, echoed these sentiments. 

 

As a coach, Hampton said he views keeping his players safe and healthy as part of his job. Each time one of his international students returns to her country, he ensures she is safe in her apartment the first night to ease her parents’ worries. He always encourages his players to call him anytime for any reason. 

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Desdefano struggles with mental health in sports                             Jaycee Hampton

but relies on her teammates and therapy to navigate it. 

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But he questions if this is enough.

 

He said he wonders what players go through behind closed doors, and he wonders if he will only gain knowledge of their struggles when it is too late to find them help. 

 

“I think coaches should have more resources,” Hampton said. “Because if you have one kid that goes through [mental health struggles], a coach might go to 20 different in a 40-year career.”

 

Desdefano and Grundy said they lean heavily on one another for support, as do many of their teammates. They said university counseling services are always booked, and they are unaware of off-campus resources.

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           “Physically they might be unbreakable. But mentally,

                                    that is not the case.” 

                                  -Guerin Emig.

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Their coach said her door is always open, but the girls handle their issues themselves. 

 

They are responsible for school and sports. 

 

And the hard work does not feel worth it every day. 

 

“There's just a lot of hard days in volleyball, in sports,” Grundy said. “I think any college athlete would tell you that.”

 

And they are expected to bear the weight of it all on their own.

 

“You assume that they're Superman or Superwoman,” Hampton said. “It's not true. They’re somebody's daughter, granddaughter, son, brother.” 

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